Each of us repeatedly throughout life gets into a situations when we are angry to someone. Everyone is trying to deal with this feeling on his/her own, but not always, or only rarely that we can do it well without consequences. Either we vent anger on someone, which can cause damage around us, or we keep anger inside us, suppress it – we want to be “nice” and do not hurt the other – but in this case, we hurt ourselves, because sooner or later, this anger -this poison inside our body – will spread all over and cause various health problems, despite stomach ulcers, gallbladder problems, high blood pressure, or in the worst case, result in cancer.
What is anger …. Anger is the opposite of fear. It is masking of fear. So why do people get angry? Because they are afraid, they are afraid of you and they get angry to hide the fear, which they have of you. Conversely, they are trying to scare you, because you do not have to see, that they are afraid of you. It is the same for you – if you are angry, you are afraid of this person and you are trying to hide your fear behind a feeling of anger and do not show your weakness. So when anyone gets upset, they are trying to scare each other.
So how to deal with anger? What to do when we get angry?
You do not have to suppress anything and you will not be congested with this poison that will destroy you or people around you. Start simply observe – Do not postpone anything, act as soon as possible hen you feel anger,observe anger, perceive and observe consciously – try to understand where the anger comes from, where it has its roots, how it was created, how it manifests, which has power over you. Who of us are thinking when we are angry? Mindfulness is the key.
“When you feel anger, perceive it consciously and you find out, that a miracle will happen.” ~ Osho
If you start to practice this, you will be very surprised and you will understand, you will find out, that your anger dissolved, disappeared. Anger have changed into the sheer energy which become a compassion, forgiveness, love. So, it is not necessary to suffer – you or object of your anger or people around you. With understanding the anger disappear.
You should remember, that you should observe without prejudices, without any assumptions, expectations or evaluation, be really honest to yourself. Once you reveal anger, its sharp poison its heat, you free yourself. Anger will disappear.
“It is very important, that everyone who honestly seeks the truth, should remember that we should not run away from our thing, but we should cognize them.” ~ Osho
“People are trying to deceive themselves with anger.” ~ Osho
What if we fail to observe anger – how to handle it any other way
Not always we can manage observing anger. In this case we have to feel this negative emotions, otherwise they will be suppressed and can explode at any time. Therefore it is better to get rid of them. But get rid of them, does not mean only to observe them. Feel every emotion. First let the emotions pass, go through it. It will not be easy, but the reward is huge. If you went through that, if you suffered and accepted consciously, without any suppression, you will be surprised, negative emotions begin to disappear. Power of these emotions will be reduced and disappear, then can come a time when you will be able to observe. But do not forget the important thing – do not vent negative emotions in public, vent them in your own privacy. Public ventilation spoils everything. If you feel anger to someone and you are starting to vent it, the other person is not Buddha, he/she will not be sleeping and silent. This person is not a marble sculpture – will do something as well. You will vent your anger, the other person also. This creates more anger and anger or violence from the other side comes up with double force. Then you will want to deepen your anger – be more angry. So if you’re angry, go to your room where you will be alone and close the door. Beat the pillow, stand in front of a mirror and scream, say what you would never say, but you wanted to say that. But it must be only in your privacy, nobody else may be present, otherwise the vicious cycle will continue. In this manner, in this moment, when you feel any negative emotion to someone, it’s not the fault of that person. It is not necessary to drain anger on someone else. Anger means that something inside you needs immediate action, release, deliverance. So gor for a run or do some other physical activity, workout, gardening, go to the bathroom or for a long walk, do whatever, and you will feel, that you are relaxed, free from the burden. . Once you get through this, you will never have to release anger to the other person.